Repo the Jihad: Al Qaeda is Broke

“Yo no soy hay dinero”

Bert will NOT sell his bottlecap collection to fund terrorist activities! Please stop asking.

We want to hear good financial news, but the world has for the most part been uncooperative. Will we be able to take time out from our frontyard lemonade stands to apply for payday loans and fast cash, or has the grand old government taken that choice away from the public now? Patriots wouldn’t stand for the removal of their freedoms, would they?

OK, settle down. Here’s some financial news you won’t hear about on the 10 o’clock news, and it is indeed great news. “Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving bunch of jihadis,” says Rachel Maddow. Al Qaeda is broke!

A heartwarming story we can all get behind

Maddow calls the headline - “Al Qaeda is Broke” - “the single best financial headline anyone in the whole world has seen all year.” But there it is. The Bucharest Herald reports that Al Qaeda has gone on record as saying that they are “short of funds” to be able to complete their Afghanistan jihad. The recession has made the purchase of explosive devices and other essential tools for the hit-and-run militant on-the-go too cost prohibitive.

Have they tried bake sales? Bunco parties? Wait, sorry - religion won’t permit that, because it could be considered a form of gambling. However, I’d consider eating Osama’s muffins to be a gamble in itself. Fatwa nothing - I want to know exactly how long has that Easy Bake batter has been sitting in the back of that cave… ... click here to read the rest of the article titled "Repo the Jihad: Al Qaeda is Broke"