The bank only offers you an umbrella after the rain has stopped

My bank should love me but it sure doesn’t seem that way

I went across the street late last night to deposit a check that had arrived in the mail. The miserable check was payment for an article that was submitted about 6 months ago and was finally published in February. The mall was closing up shop when I walked in and the bank was gone. Vanished. The windows plastered over with sheets of white paper.

"Where's the bank?" I asked the cleaner. She shrugged meaning:

• I don't know.
• I don't care.
• I don't understand English. I only arrived in this country from (Insert name of any third-world country) 2 days ago.

I eventually found someone who pointed across the street to a new building. I dropped the now irritating check in the deposit box at the bank.

At the same time I resolved in the future to work only with My Personal Money Store using Installment Loans to weave my way through the month.

The bank pays attention to me now

I used to have a bank account with money in it. In these days of financial stress I maintain an overdraft at the bank. It is not huge, but it seems to glow in a psychedelic red that draws every bank official's attention to it whenever they walk anywhere near. So I get lots of mail and e-mails from the bank. Some offer me loans – they want me to build on my overdraft. Some say nice things like "please attend to your overdraft" and others threaten like "Attend to the matter of your overdraft immediately. If you have already done so please ignore this letter." No matter how angry they get, they don't want to stab me fatally! ... click here to read the rest of the article titled "The bank only offers you an umbrella after the rain has stopped"